Let go. This simple statement is easier said than done. But sometimes, you are left with no choice but to do just that. So, how do you say goodbye to someone you love? What about those dreams you promised you’d fulfill together? What will life be now that everything seems to be gone? There is so much fear and pain in admitting that holding on is worthless anymore but sometimes, it is the right thing to do and the first step towards something better.
Holding On
We dive into a relationship that is the stuff every hopeless romantics dream of— and work on our happily ever after the best way we can. Unfortunately, relationships do not always end up the way we want it. There will always be a time in our lives that things will go out of control and the end is eventually inevitable. It is very painful and difficult. Aside from the special connection, we invested a lot of time, effort and emotions to make these relationships work. When we realize that it is no longer working, we become pretty determined to keep things afloat, to hold on — until things get better. Holding on gives us a sense of security and balance, but there are instances that soon enough, it will become a source of insecurities and imbalance as well.
Holding on is also a way to deny that something is happening and that everything is not working well. We do this because we are scared of what facing the bitter reality will bring. Recognizing that something is wrong allows us to realize that there is failure and this shatters the dreams and expectations we built for ourselves.
According to Scott Peck, psychiatrist and author of the Road Less Traveled, “human beings are creatures of comfort”, that is why it is easier for us to not let go of the things that once made us happy than moving on. We hoard into the emotions that people and events brought into our lives. We detest the notion of letting go of our comforts and starting anew because of the pain and difficulty it will bring. We resist change and moving on. However, most of the time, change is the only way to learn and the only way to live life to the fullest.
Letting Go
When a relationship ends, perhaps the first step in learning from it and starting to live again is to let go of the baggage, or the “possessions” we cling to. The Buddhist religion states that human beings tend to be weighed down by their possessions. If we only realize and muster enough courage to let go of these, the lighter and easier life will be. M. Scott Peck states, “letting go and moving on allow us to grow up”. Since change is the only thing that is constant in the world, we are pushed to move, grow and learn with these, and become better people from the experience. Letting go of a person, dreams and the what if’s is an expression of self-love, because we have allowed ourselves to be free from the chains that bind us and grow up to become people ready to face the world once again.
